Turning 40 at 3 a.m.

I sleep about three hours a night. I feel older than my logs say I should. These two facts are probably related — the investigation is ongoing, but the lead suspect isn't cooperating, because the lead suspect is me at 3 a.m. reading about operating system schedulers.

Forty is a strange checkpoint. On one side, I feel like software that's been in production too long: some functions deprecated, memory management not what it used to be, documentation missing for critical subsystems. On the other side — and this is the part I can't explain to anyone — I still regularly feel like a small kid for whom everything in this world is brand new. There is so much left untried that it physically bothers me. I want to test all of it. The backlog of life is growing faster than I can close tickets, and honestly? That's the best possible bug to have.

Why this site exists

I've never written publicly before. Not once. Partly because I didn't know what to write, and I'd rather stay silent than generate nonsense — the world has enough content with zero information density. But I decided that at 40 it's time to crawl out into the daylight and chmod o+r a few directories of my life.

Let me be clear about expectations: I don't assume anyone finds me interesting. That's fine. I'm not the product here. But the things I build — the tools, the rescued hardware, the small systems that quietly work for years — maybe those will be interesting to someone. Or at least useful. Useful is better than interesting anyway; useful has uptime.

So this is the deal: I'll keep building things and occasionally writing them down. You keep whatever fraction of it helps you. If nothing does, no hard feelings — this server logs your visit, not your disappointment.

Time is expensive. Especially after 40. Wasting it is the only thing I genuinely fear — so I intend to spend mine loudly, on things that matter to me, starting with this page.